.Editor's Note: The adhering to is the message of a character coming from Trip 3 Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reflecting on the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not composed very much concerning specifics of this particular mission in the course of the month I have actually been here, primarily for two causes: the first being actually that there has actually been really little opportunity to carry out that kind of writing, and also secondly because I am actually unsure exactly how pleasant I am discussing notions I share with friends and family along with the remainder of the world.Well, clearly the globe transformed today. What I mention or carry out is actually quite small matched up to the value of what took place to our country today when it was actually assaulted by ... by whom? Terrorists is actually all we understand, I think. Hard to recognize at whom to drive our temper and fear ...I had simply finished a variety of activities this morning, the most time-consuming being actually the physical examinations of all crew members. In an exclusive talk following that, the flight cosmetic surgeon told me they were actually possessing a quite bad time on the ground. I had no suggestion ...He explained the circumstance to me as greatest he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was stunned, after that terrified. My very first thought and feelings was that this had not been a genuine conversation, that I was still listening closely to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It just failed to seem achievable on this incrustation in our nation. I could not even picture the details, even before the updates of additional devastation began can be found in.Vladimir visited pretty promptly, sensing that something extremely major was being actually covered. I swayed Michael in to the element also. They were actually also surprised and stunned. After we signed off, I attempted to describe to Vladimir as well as Michael as best I could possibly the possible immensity of this particular show of fear in downtown Manhattan as well as at the Government. They precisely recognized and were actually quite sympathetic.I eyed the World Map on the personal computer to find where over the world we were actually and saw that our company were coming southeast out of Canada and would be overlooking New England in a handful of moments. I zoomed around the terminal until I found a window that would certainly offer me a scenery of NYC and also snatched the nearest video camera. It took place to be a camera, and also I was looking southern from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to possess a strange bloom to it at the base of the column that was actually streaming south of the urban area. After going through among the newspaper article our experts merely acquired, I believe we were actually looking at NY around the moment of, or not long after, the failure of the second tower. Exactly how horrible ...I panned the cam all along the East Coast to the south to view if I can observe any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, yet absolutely nothing was visible.It was actually rather complicated to think about job afterwards, though our team possessed some to accomplish, but on the upcoming orbit our company traversed the US more south. All three people were actually operating one or two cameras to make an effort to obtain viewpoints of Nyc or even Washington. There was fog over Washington, however no details source can be observed. Everything appeared incredible coming from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can not imagine the terrible scenes on the ground.Aside from the emotional effect of our country being tackled and also 1000s of our people and maybe some friends being actually eliminated, one of the most mind-boggling sensation being where I am actually is one of seclusion.Upcoming time ... I reckon the exhaustion and also emotional stress obtained the most effective of me. I could not keep awake as well as remain to compose. Today was still complicated, but our company began acquiring additional info, plus our team had the tribute of speaking directly along with the Facility Supervisor, Roy Estess, who assured our company that the ground groups would certainly remain to work and also ensure our safety and security, as well as the safe function of the Station. Our company also talked to our Manager, Mr. Goldin, that incorporated that the partners in the Course are actually all totally committed to continuing risk-free procedures as well as help. These were never questions for me. I understand all these people! The ground groups have actually been actually very supportive, really understanding of the impact of the information, and also have attempted to be as helpful as achievable. They have all been really qualified and also concentrated though I can not picture the interruption of the type of information being available in and the notion that authorities structures could be vulnerable. They never ever avoided a beat, even when transferring control centers. As well as a group of elderly employees as well as good friends provided our team a pretty comprehensive instruction on what was actually known and also what was actually being carried out in the authorities and also at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually quite practical and sort of them to accomplish in the midst of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has additionally been supportive and practical, attempting to uplink newspaper article when our very own possessions were inoperable, and also pointing out kind words ...My crewmates have been actually fantastic, as well. They know it's been a tough time for me as well as the people on the ground, and they have actually tried to be as even keeled as well as beneficial as feasible. Michael also corrected me my favored Borscht soup for dinner. And also they give me loads of room to think when I needed it. They are very understanding as well as of course shocked at whoever would certainly perform this.I recognize plenty of folks in Washington, so many people who take a trip to DC as well as NYC, a lot of who are actually pilots, that I felt sure I would receive at least a few items of bad news over the next handful of times. I acquired the initial one today when I knew that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that struck the Government was Chic Burlingame, a schoolmate of mine. I met Chic throughout cadet summer season when we were in the D&B all together, as well as we possessed great deals of training class together. I can not visualize what he needs to of looked at, and right now I hear that he might have increased better than our company can even think of by possibly avoiding his airplane coming from being actually the one to tackle the White Residence. What a horrendous loss, yet I ensure Chic was combating fearlessly to the end. And splits don't move the very same in space ...It is actually difficult to define just how it feels to become the only American fully off the world at once like this. The sensation that I should exist along with each one of you, managing this, helping somehow, is frustrating. I understand that we get on the limit (or beyond) of an awful shift in the history of the planet. Lots of points are going to certainly never be the same once again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not only for the manies thousand and also 1000s of individuals straight affected through these horrendous process of violence, but most likely for we all. Our team will certainly find ourselves really feeling in a different way concerning loads of things, featuring most likely room expedition, regrettably.It is actually horrible to view smoke putting coming from injuries in your personal nation from such a superb vantage point. The dichotomy of performing a space probe committed to improving live on the earth as well as checking out lifestyle being ruined by such purposeful, horrible acts is jolting to the subconscious, no matter who you are actually. And the understanding that every little thing will be different than when our team launched by the time our experts land is a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation as well as in our leadership that our experts will definitely do every thing feasible to far better safeguard her as well as our family members, and also to bring justice for what has actually been carried out. I have assurance that the good folks at NASA will certainly do everything important to continue our objective properly and return us properly at the right time. As well as I miss out on all of you significantly. I can't exist along with you personally, and our company have a very long way to go to accomplish our goal, yet be certain that my soul is actually along with you, and know you remain in my requests.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the last character ... Luckily, it is actually been a hectic week up below. As well as to confirm that, like our nation, our experts are actually continuing on our designated pathway along with organization as usual (as high as achievable). Tonight the most recent addition to the station, the Russian Docking Chamber are going to be actually launched coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (United States opportunity), it will definitely dock with our team, at a port never ever made use of just before on the low point side of the Service Element. This brand-new component is going to provide us another place to dock a Development or Soyuz and will supply a large airlock with pair of able to be used hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan meets, which we will certainly do a few of prior to our team return.The trouble just before in handling this week was actually too little updates. The issue now is way too much. It arrived simultaneously when e-mail was actually recovered, and there is actually not enough time to read everything! Plus it is actually also difficult to manage all of it at once. Yet I cherish obtaining it, as well as I definitely cherish the excellent characters of support as well as friendly relationship I am acquiring.We are actually doing well aboard, getting our job carried out, as well as speaking about points. Final evening we possessed a long dialogue over supper about the implication of these activities, the achievable activities to comply with, as well as what ought to be actually done. After supper, Michael resolved telling me that every e-mail he received from close friends in Russia said particularly to tell me just how sorry they were that this occurred, extending their acknowledgements, and also asking how I was performing. Vladimir educated me the Russian phrase for "condolences" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Area. (Both the Russian and also the English words are actually a lot too long to articulate simply.) Really kind individuals.For the last 2 times, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to send online programs of broadcast headlines regarding the celebration and affiliated accounts, to be sure I was effectively updated. Every expert who has actually come on free throw line to cover a treatment or a trouble contends some factor prolonged greetings to me with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that due to the wedding of recognition in the United States, throughout the day people had actually been actually bringing blooms as well as lining all the wall structures of the US consulate in Moscow, and this evening they were actually lighting candles in the street outside the consular office. Exactly how the world has transformed.Individuals everywhere seem to be to realize the senselessness as well as terror in this particular attack. And the tremendous loss. Moscow has actually handled these sort of complications in the last couple of years with home as well as subway bombings, so they are as anxious to do away with this threat as our experts are. But all-time low series is that there are good individuals anywhere who want to live in peace. I read that a youngster talked to, "The United States is so good to other countries, our experts always aid everybody, how can they loathe our company a lot?".I really hope the instance of participation and trust fund that this space capsule and all the people in the program demonstrate daily are going to someday encourage the rest of the planet to operate the same way. They must!Sadly, our team won't be actually piloting over the US while people are actually lighting candles. Do not understand if we could possibly see that in any case. Our experts did, however, find an extremely uncommon and gorgeous attraction a handful of moments ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. Our company were actually surpassing it and also it appeared about three moments after its own launch from Baikonur as the sunshine struck our terminal, so it was still unaware. It seemed like a large comet along with a right, large rear silhouetted versus the darker world beneath. Regardless of some poor lights for a while as the sunlight hit our home window at a low perspective, I handled some video of it as to begin with we passed the rocket, and then enjoyed it start to mesmerize as it acquired altitude and speed. I shot until principal engine deadline and also enhancer separation developed just as our company came close to daybreak on the Himalayas. A memorable view in a remarkable full week ...Lifestyle happens, also in space. Our team are actually listed here to remain ... Frank.